Lost the battle

it has happened. it just did! my worst nigtmare has come true.. how much i dreaded it..i really didnt want this to happen..but now it has. avoiding..ignoring.. being laconic..it all indicates just one thing.. Its over..even before it could start, its over.. End of everything which seemed just soo beautiful some days back. I was wrong that my eyes hv dried up. THey are smart ones. Didnt let me knw that they still have all the pain which is oozing to flow out. I really felt from the bottom of my heart and i didnt even ask fr anyting. Was willing to go the way some one wanted, was going the way but dont know why this dead end! i seriously dont know. But it doesnt matter WHY..what matters is that IT HAS Happenned.

Over and Out.

blank mind!

...who the hell makes these sad songs..and fools like us..know that they are gonna hurt us..still we listen to them...and then do what? bingo! cry... cry..cryy...its a fool's job..and yes! i am a fool..a big fool..



everyday , every moment i live under a fear..now what...what happenned now? why the same thing again..deja vu they say..the day passes by like anything, not bothering me at all, but its the darkness of night that kills me..and when i try to fight this darkness, i end up loosing..loosing to my weakness.. am i sounding like a parasite? something which is dependent on others...
no..i am not..just that i think too much..



....my parents seem amazed because they cant figure out why i am smiling one moment and frowning the other..i am living under the fear of loosing something i never had and not even going to have.. haha..seems my posts are becoming darker and darker everytime like harry potter series.. oh darn! i hate these sad songs... time to grab some chocolate excess..

mystic calling........

been a year..duh-uh..it has actually been a year? rather more than that! ch ch ch..my blog has bcome like a project on bear i did and has gone into hibernation.. why does some one blog? to vent out her frustration..to share her toughts with some one.but i really did not have anything to share..yeaahh i have a personal life too and was hell lotta busy in that..all rosy rosy picture..like a fairytale..was happy in it..i am still happy with it..


but but butttttt...turn of events...never expected this to happen.. never thought it would hurt soo much..never thought that i would be able to tolerate soo mucch pain..and what more! i am game for more..sounds funny..but reality is usually funny... you seldom come scross a situation of oscillating emotions..smiling with tears in your eyes...ohh darn my keyboard got wet... but this pain is also enjoyable..atleast it reaffirms my faith in myself.. i am on a path which is dreadful..no end to it..no destination..nothing..but still i want to tread it..because it gives me happiness, be it for short while only.. this pleasure for a while is going to give me pain for a lifetime..a vicious circle i m geting into..knowingly.. but i want to get into it.. without any conditions..without any expectations..an un named arrangement which is dangerous and i know where its gonna end.. still i am taking up the challenge...dont know why! if anyone can answer..great help..even if cant..i will not budge... i love difficulties :)

Its reserved!

so whats hot this season..???

no no..me nt endorsing any brand of hair colours..though i wud love to do so..aah..hw much i looove the color red..bt instead of digressing frm the topic, we shall concentrate on whats going on in nation today.. n the first thing that comes in or mind is "RESERVATION"..For the un-initiated( though thre wud hardly b any), its nt regarding reserving a table fr two in a plush hotel, bt reservations fr OBCs in govt owned institutes..Now i m anti-reservation, bt instead of blabbering out what is already on national T.V. i wud like to look at the other side of the picture.
Yes reservation is bad, not only fr general category,but also for those who belong to SC_ST_OBC category. Those who say that reservation would lead ot greater socila equality, may be right, but it wud deteiorate the educational level of society.In any cmpettive exam, the prescribed cut-off fr an SC ategory person is lesser than that fr general one!Now this is nt equality. N this leads to developement of complex inthis kids olny. In tre college/job, evryone looks upon thm inferiorly n dont consider the SCs n STs at par with themselves. A lot of SC-Sts themselves are a part of anti-reervation rally!

the medicos all over the india are protesting against it, but our acting prime-minister (well yes..he is acting on a script written by cwrtain mrs gandhi)just keeps on pacifying the agitated students..
More than the desire to do something fr Sc-STs, its actually a way to capture all te dalit votes, which congress is nt getting in areas like U.P n M.P and i wont qwonder if a day comes, when "GENERAL" would itself become a minority n demanding increase in quotas!

n to wrosen things, just read that TamilNadu has the worst system of education in india. Here there is 69% RESERVATION and the thing is these guys actually want more... The only state where reservations are welcomed by quite a few and infact there are rallys being organized in protest against docs striking against reservations..

After pretty unexpected serious talk from me, here are sum lines by a great poet amardeep rishi:

LINKpost 791

iss desh main OBC's ka hoga raaj
na honge ab koi yahan per kaaj
World ki largest Democracy
lage mujhe hai autocracy
students ki ye buri halat aur nahi seh paunga main
tum dekhna sab mere yaaron
patli gali se nikal jaunga main

Mah french affair..

Life is looking good these days...not because i have lend sum of my cosmetics to it, but because i m recovering frm jaundice n it feels great..

so now i have t0 resume my french classez frm nex week n hence i m brushing up my basics..damn..i m obsessed with makeup!

when i decided to take up french during my 3-month looong vacation, everyone came up with bizarre reasons for it..sum thought i m dating a french guy..(ahh..hw i wud wish to do so..), sum thought i m going to paris..and sum thot tat out of love fr it, i have decided to learn it..
but the truth is...mon mere..meanz my momma..who literally pushed me to join these classez..i was soo happy sitting at home,,watching t.v. the whole day..but she was adamant on ruining my vacations..toh bhej dia mujhe alien world mein..:(

newayz..first day of my class n i felt like sitting in a shady parisian classroom.n then suddenly our teacher came n started blurting out sumtihng..i thought she was cougihng..but when paid hell lotta attention,got to knw tat she was nt coughing, bt khaafing..
meanz she was speaking french with lots of kh-s n zh-s in it...chalo jee..i thought... my ordeal de confusion begins..
but hey..i was wrong..was i..
next class we do colours n holy! we get to know that even colours have gender discrimination..i mean see this..
male yellow, female yellow..?? freak!!!.. i was totally lost in the classroom, which nw startd appearinglike a shady room in bordeaux..( ya ya..france inspiring me)

next day a newcomer entered our class n asked me in french "whats my name"..i kept lookng at him fr 5mins cz i cud nt get wt he ws saying..n tat guy misinterpretd my stare as sumthing else..what? well..thats another long story, but tat day i got smoe very very sweeeeeet smses frm him..:(

now its been 1 mnoth since i hv been trying to learn french..n nw i m starting to understand it..still je n'adore pas francais..:p
but any given day, i wud prefer french cuisine ( chheeeese fondue is divine...) over langue francais...

au revoir!

the yellow syndrome...:(

SORRY FOLKS..
NO new posts here..becauze moi down with jaundice..:((

so pls pray fr me..
so that i get well soon n start going out of my home!..:(
this is damn borinng hereeeee......

why dance, when u can SALSA....

well.. its been quite a long time since i posted anything here.. a lot of people asked me with a certain unknown tinge in there voice or if they asked me throught yahoo msngr, the question was followed by 3 question marks so as to show tripel anxiety.. "sooo..any new updates..???"
but alas.. its been almost 20days since my last blog..n no not because i did nt have time.
i had infact loads of it, which i delibratley wasted in orkutting...:)...
another thing which kept me busy..(yeah..bussyy) was my french classes.. french is tough..damn tough..but whenver i open the book, i feel..hey..even french learned the language.. even a 3year old french kid can speak it, then why cant i..? i m still 7 times his age , so lets give it a shot..
so i m learning it..n also learning to enjoy it...but the most exciting thing happened today!!!!

well.. juzz like anything, i stumbled upon a chance to go to the salsa fest at TAPAs, vasant continental , vasant vihar.. out of the blue, my cousin called up and asked if i wud like to come along with him n his frienz n was lke voila!! why not..apart frm french, i shud have some test of latin america too..so i agreed upon it..

the first dilemaa i faced was "WHAT TO WEAR..??"..coud nt hv done with my usual faded not-washed-for-15-days-jeans n a tee.. soo scrutinized my wardrobe n found a skirt with loads of frills n cuts, which i had got from dubai 2years ago n it had cost me a fortune..still i never bothered to wear it except when i had to go to meet my best friend, who really loathed the skirt, coz it ws too very "showy".. bloody MCP..would hv loved it, had sum other girl worn it, but cud nt take his best friend wearing it n yeess..attracting stares frm other guys..

anyways, that ws the only dilemma i faced.. my parents did nt bother, coz ws going out with my "bhaiyya"..so he came at my palce, with his pals, n we headed to the place..its actually a restro bar, situated at the very top..cant remeber the floor, coz ws busy giving touch-ups to my make-up in the lift..

TAPAS organises a salsa night every saturday, but this time, they had this special festival which went on fr 4days, organised by katie namgyal, the city's only professional salsa trainer..

there was defintly a couple entry system, n i already had a friend waiting thre..coz possibly cud nt hv gone down salsaying with my cousin..eew... so we both had our salsa dates already fixed..

we entered n wow..i was amazed..was nt i.? already soo many couples were dancing thre, women in thre lovely flowing dresses n skirts n men, well.. majorty in jeans n nice.pastel coloured shirts..

we got on te floor, knowing nothing.. suddenly, a person approached us, who was a trainer n taught us sum basic steps then n thre.. all we had to do was keep practising them fr 15mins n aftr 15mins, he came again n taught another new step.. he ws doing this with every couple n thre were lot other trainers too..it ws a very fun-nice way of teaching n me n my partner had a blast!!!the music being played was aweesome.. cant remeber many songs, bt the lambad music ws very prominent n thre were songs by andy montanez and anthony cruz..we had a special DJ flown in frm new-york..cant recall his name..but what the heck..the music ws good n dj ws cute..thats wt all mattered..

we danced for around 2-3 ohurs .then we were served mexican lunch, which was totally divine..!!!!i never thot that this cuisine wud hv soo much of variety, evn fr a veggie like me...aftr lunch, thre was a slow dancing session, coz lunch wud actually hv made a lotta fella sleepy, so slow dancing ws kinda ball-dancing..n music being played was very romantic.. though i cud nt stop laughing, coz i barely had any romantic inclination towards my partner..!!!!..:)

but it ws great fun..even slow-dancing..we even had to perform what we had learnt, soo it added to the fun, coz evryone seemed to do thre own thing..

later in evening, we had sum tea n snacks thre.. we left at around 6.. what ws to b followed thre ws a special professional performance n grand finale of the festival..but neither v had time nor interest in watching others dance..all -in -all.. great learning n enjoyable experience...

n for all those who taught, lunch n snacks were fr free, welll..we had to pay fr them..but hey.. it was worth evry penny..the joy we got is immeasurable..:)

now i m too tired ot write anything else..but wt the heck, i m again going to do sum orkutitng..
tk cr n adios..!!!