mystic calling........

been a year..duh-uh..it has actually been a year? rather more than that! ch ch ch..my blog has bcome like a project on bear i did and has gone into hibernation.. why does some one blog? to vent out her frustration..to share her toughts with some one.but i really did not have anything to share..yeaahh i have a personal life too and was hell lotta busy in that..all rosy rosy picture..like a fairytale..was happy in it..i am still happy with it..


but but butttttt...turn of events...never expected this to happen.. never thought it would hurt soo much..never thought that i would be able to tolerate soo mucch pain..and what more! i am game for more..sounds funny..but reality is usually funny... you seldom come scross a situation of oscillating emotions..smiling with tears in your eyes...ohh darn my keyboard got wet... but this pain is also enjoyable..atleast it reaffirms my faith in myself.. i am on a path which is dreadful..no end to it..no destination..nothing..but still i want to tread it..because it gives me happiness, be it for short while only.. this pleasure for a while is going to give me pain for a lifetime..a vicious circle i m geting into..knowingly.. but i want to get into it.. without any conditions..without any expectations..an un named arrangement which is dangerous and i know where its gonna end.. still i am taking up the challenge...dont know why! if anyone can answer..great help..even if cant..i will not budge... i love difficulties :)